What I Want

Oh I don't know what I want... My life is one big question followed by blank spaces never to be filled. 
I have no answers for these questions in my life.
When confronted, I find that the best way to deal with it is to walk away... literally.
Though, sometimes I am cornered and must answer for myself and it's at these times I sputter like a flame, hungry for oxygen.
See, now, I'm good at faking it to those who don't know me so well.
I walk around with my head held high, shoulders back, confident in all I survey and do. 
But if you were to ask me at the lunch line "what will you eat today?" 
I will tell you that "I don't know."  For I don't!  Do I ever?
I must see and look with my eyes upon all my options before I discover what I truly want.
Once a decision is made, it's not really made, for in my mind I wonder constantly, 'did I make the right choice?'
Woe to me if it's a big decision.  I will spend weeks deciding what to do.
Relationships? HA! They practically end before they even begin!
I think, 'sure, he's cute, seems nice, why not?'  Then I realize I was wrong 'what was I thinking?'
I went with it because I don't know what I want.
Though, every one of these failures has slowly narrowed down my first options. 
I now know some options that I will never choose.  But do I know what I singly want?  No!
Most likely I never will until one day it all clicks, like turning on a light in a dark room. 
From no where life will make sense and I'll know what I want, or so I hope.
But I am sure this day is far off, for I can in no way imagine what I may want.